Sweet Goodbyes

Where has the time gone? Every time I find myself back here, so much has happened, so much has changed, but I always end up right here on my blog.

The last six months might have been the craziest months of my life. I spent 2.5 months in Cape Town, South Africa, where I have made SO many memories! There isn't a day that goes by where my brain doesn't decide to take me back to something that happened while I was on exchange. Not only do I miss how gorgeous Cape Town was, I miss my school and my friends so so much. It didn't make it any easier when I had to go right back from paradise to "The Nunnery", where palm trees, beaches, and sunsets were traded for books, acne, and Oreo's. The last few months at school were tough. I had completely adapted to the African pace of life, and enjoyed taking it easy and being worry-free (well.. who doesn't love that?!). However, that's not how the people around me were living. I found myself back at school, sleeping through assemblies (and receiving far too many detention slips in my mailbox), forgetting (sometimes PURPOSELY forgetting) to hand in homework assignments, losing my drive to push through two hours of sports everyday, and drowning in this crazy world without trying to swim.

I had fallen in love with my new life that I had established so well. I loved the new, happier, bubblier "Laura", the Laura that wasn't afraid of consequences and lived life the right way, the happy way.
I did not miss the studious, serious girl I had once been. The girl whose highlight of the week was a banana chocolate chip muffin, and who cringed at the thought of what would happen if she broke a rule at school (because let me tell you, I had already been there and suffered the consequences).

I hated having to throw my new life away away and having to box it all up as a good memory of a time that I wish I could relive over and over again.

That was when I realized that I needed to change something about my real life. I needed to find a happy medium between how I was in South Africa, and how I was at home. After thinking and thinking, I figured out what the problem was: my school.

If you have followed my blog from the beginning, you will have read through some of my funny and more serious chronicles as a student at an all-girls prep school full of wacky traditions and interesting people. This school has made me into the person who I am now, but at a certain point it stopped providing me with opportunities for more growth. The strict rules and regulations are something I don't need anymore. I know how to accomplish my dreams, but now I just need to be set free. I need to find a new place that would be able to turn me back into happy AND studious Laura: the Laura that was a little 5-foot-tall freshman with braces that entered boarding school with high hopes, expectations, and dreams. But let's leave out the braces, and I kinda like being 5'7 now.

So here I am, completely changing things up. I am going to a slightly larger co-ed private school where I will be day student. And I can't wait to write about all the crazy things that will happen there.

In the meanwhile... I will be posting on here a lot more.
By the way, I'm working on a novel!

XOXO Laura

Woke up to this.

A New Adventure

Where did the time go? I haven't blogged since August?!
These few months all seem like a blur, even though many things happened and changed, for the better and for the worse. Sad fact #1: Gossip Girl ended. What will I do without my weekly dose of Chuck Bass?! Sad fact #2: school has been rough this year.

I am starting to figure out who I am and what I want from life, which makes things easier but also harder. I want to travel, see beautiful places, meet interesting people, see what the world is all about. These past months I have felt restricted, like I couldn't move. I was disappointed in the people around me, the people who are supposed to look out for me. Not only was this frustrating, but I also learned another lesson: people are just people. Even with a title, or an important position, performance is not guaranteed. I always try to see the best in people, but it becomes incredibly difficult when you are let down over and over again. Don't get me wrong, prep school has been great, I just feel that I need to move on and discover what living is REALLY all about. I don't believe living a fulfilled life means going to the best college, getting the best job, a lovely husband, three healthy children, and a golden retriever. Life should be much more than that. I believe we need adventure, we constantly need to remind ourselves to face our fears every day, do things that make us nervous, take risks. Because at the end of the day we will all die. I just don't want to lie on my deathbed thinking about all of the things I should have done.

This is why I am making some changes in my life, on which I will elaborate more when the time comes.

And what is my next adventure going to be? Catching my flight to Cape Town, South Africa tomorrow.

On The Last Friday Night Of Summer

I am cuddled up in my old, noisy, wooden bed, my newly dyed hair up in a messy bun, with a cup of Jasmine green tea in one hand, and Tolstoy's War and Peace in the other. While listening to the calming sounds of crickets, and of course, the background buzzing of the AC, I am reflecting upon my soon-ending summer.

This summer I have closed some important chapters of my life, and opened new ones. After officially/finally saying goodbye to my childhood home in June, I felt both sad and relieved. Sad, because growing up sucks. Relieved, because I am now able to move on from living in the past. My most difficult moments at boarding school were the moments during which I wanted to go back to my old house, and my old life. I kept thinking about things I was missing out on, and about how happy I used to be. Not knowing how self-destructive these kinds of thoughts were, I was constantly living in the past. Now that I had a good, long sobbing session in my childhood room, I am ready to be where I am: in the USA.

I had to close some other chapters as well. Chapters with certain people. As much as I wanted to believe that all of my old friends were still interested in me, that was a false hope. Of course, there are some that will stick around for the rest of my life, but the majority were just meant to make an appearance. I have discovered that because I have changed so much, I am starting to grow apart from some people. You know what, it's okay. I have met wonderful new people here as well, and whether they make an appearance or stick around, at this moment they mean a lot to me.

That is what I am learning to do: living in the moment.