I am cuddled up in my old, noisy, wooden bed, my newly dyed hair up in a messy bun, with a cup of Jasmine green tea in one hand, and Tolstoy's War and Peace in the other. While listening to the calming sounds of crickets, and of course, the background buzzing of the AC, I am reflecting upon my soon-ending summer.
This summer I have closed some important chapters of my life, and opened new ones. After officially/finally saying goodbye to my childhood home in June, I felt both sad and relieved. Sad, because growing up sucks. Relieved, because I am now able to move on from living in the past. My most difficult moments at boarding school were the moments during which I wanted to go back to my old house, and my old life. I kept thinking about things I was missing out on, and about how happy I used to be. Not knowing how self-destructive these kinds of thoughts were, I was constantly living in the past. Now that I had a good, long sobbing session in my childhood room, I am ready to be where I am: in the USA.
I had to close some other chapters as well. Chapters with certain people. As much as I wanted to believe that all of my old friends were still interested in me, that was a false hope. Of course, there are some that will stick around for the rest of my life, but the majority were just meant to make an appearance. I have discovered that because I have changed so much, I am starting to grow apart from some people. You know what, it's okay. I have met wonderful new people here as well, and whether they make an appearance or stick around, at this moment they mean a lot to me.
That is what I am learning to do: living in the moment.
This summer I have closed some important chapters of my life, and opened new ones. After officially/finally saying goodbye to my childhood home in June, I felt both sad and relieved. Sad, because growing up sucks. Relieved, because I am now able to move on from living in the past. My most difficult moments at boarding school were the moments during which I wanted to go back to my old house, and my old life. I kept thinking about things I was missing out on, and about how happy I used to be. Not knowing how self-destructive these kinds of thoughts were, I was constantly living in the past. Now that I had a good, long sobbing session in my childhood room, I am ready to be where I am: in the USA.
I had to close some other chapters as well. Chapters with certain people. As much as I wanted to believe that all of my old friends were still interested in me, that was a false hope. Of course, there are some that will stick around for the rest of my life, but the majority were just meant to make an appearance. I have discovered that because I have changed so much, I am starting to grow apart from some people. You know what, it's okay. I have met wonderful new people here as well, and whether they make an appearance or stick around, at this moment they mean a lot to me.
That is what I am learning to do: living in the moment.
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